Every Melburnian has an opinion about every suburb and chances are, they’re not shy about sharing it. Whether you’re new in town or a local with postcode loyalty, here are 10 suburbs perfectly summed up in just one sentence each (with all the love and a little bite).
1. Brunswick
Where your barista has a philosophy degree, two side hustles, and probably made your oat latte on a vintage machine imported from Berlin.
2. Toorak
The only suburb where even the dogs wear designer labels and a 4WD is considered modest.
3. Fitzroy
You came for the street art, but now you’re contemplating quitting your job to become a kombucha sommelier and move into a warehouse sharehouse with eight artists.
4. South Yarra
If you don’t own activewear and a membership to a boutique Pilates studio, are you even legally allowed to live here?
5. Footscray
Authentic eats, proper footy passion, and locals who’ll judge your dumpling order more than your fashion sense and that’s how it should be.
6. St Kilda
A mix of beach, backpackers, bakeries and old rock stars who never really left.
7. Carlton
Home to university kids, Italian food you’ll argue about for days, and a population that triples during MIFF season.
8. Collingwood
Craft beer, exposed brick, and tattoo sleeves as far as the eye can see and somehow, still cool.
9. Brighton
If your house doesn’t have a private sauna and at least one beach box in the family, don’t bother applying.
10. Northcote
It’s all handmade ceramics, feminist book clubs, and brunch that comes with a personal story about the chicken’s emotional wellbeing.
Bonus tip: No matter where you live, you’ll end up defending your suburb like it’s your favourite sibling flaws and all.
